Month: November 2019

Easy as American Smores Pie

As you might be able to tell from the number of sweet vs savory recipes, I’m more a salty than sweet person. That said, the sweets I do enjoy tend to be a 100% sugar. I can never say no to meringue or cotton candy.

A close-up of a smores pie on a yellow background

Shoddy bakers unite!

It doesn’t help that I am a notoriously poor baker. The world seems to be divided up into people who can cook and people who can bake (and people who can do neither).

I am firmly in the first group. Cooking is easy and a lot more slap dash (to probably quote Keith Floyd). Dinner doesn’t taste quite right? Usually there’s something you can add to fix it. With baking? Not so much. This is how I’ve ended up serving many a ‘deconstructed’ cake to friends. Art saves.

A close-up of a smores pie on a yellow background

I promised myself to do more baking this year and have found American bakes lend themselves a lot better for shoddy bakers like me.

I’ve baked a glorious peach cobbler, some wonderful Christina Tosi creations and an amazing first tarte tatin (which is French, and its success was probably more related to a month of binging Bake Off , though I guess Netflix is American so it kind of works).

Easy as Smores Pie

I also made this ridiculously good smores pie for a friend’s birthday.

I’ve always been obsessed with smores, due to the marshmallow (i.e. 100% sugar) situ. But I could never figure out what an equivalent for Graham Crackers are until an American friend was so friendly to Google it for me.

This isn’t so much baking as it is throwing shit together. Which is great.

A close-up of a smores pie on a yellow background

An overhead shot of a pie covered in toasted marshmallows, with the edges of a brown crust peeking out and a glass of milk at the right hand bottom corner of the image on a bright yellow background. Both the pie dish and the glass of milk leave harsh shadows on the backdrop.

Easy as Smores Pie

Dorothy Porker
One of the simplest and most satisfying recipes you can ever make. This smores pie is great for parties, as a spectacular dessert or just because. You could make it more complex if you wanted to, but who has the time?
Prep Time 15 mins
Cook Time 30 mins
Course Birthdays, Dessert
Cuisine American
Servings 10

Equipment

  • Food processor
  • Oven
  • Pie dish or cake tin, 22 cm or 8.5 inches in diameter
  • Saucepan
  • Torch, optional

Ingredients
  

For the crust

  • 2 c - 250 gr graham crackers or local equivalent, ground down to a course pulp
  • 1/4 c - 60 ml butter melted

For the filling

  • 10 oz - 275 gr dark chocolate broken into more manageable pieces to aid melting
  • 1/2 t - 2.5 ml vanilla extract you can also use the seeds of 1 proper vanilla pod
  • 1 shot rum optional, but definitely not if kids or people who don't drink alcohol are involved
  • pinch salt
  • 2 large eggs

For the topping

  • large marshmallows as many as you can fit

Instructions
 

To make the crust

  • Preheat your oven to 160° C - 325° F.
  • Mix together 2 c - 250 gr of graham cracker crumbs or local equivalent in a bowl with the 1/2 c - 115 gr of melted butter.
  • Press the crumb and butter mixture evenly into a pie dish. You want to press quite firmly so it'll hold together once it's baked. If you don't have a pie dish you can use a regular cake tin, I would just fill the bottom in this instance and not bother with an edge.
  • Bake for 8-10 minutes. Keeping a keen eye out because the edges can burn really quickly if you're not mindful. Leave the oven on so the filled pie can go back in.

To make the filling

  • Whisk together 3/4 c - 180 ml cream and 1/4 c - 60 ml milk and warm gently over a low heat on a saucepan.
  • Melt in 10 oz - 275 gr broken down chocolate.
  • Once the chocolate has completely melted, take off the heat. Leave to cool a little so the eggs won't curdle and then whisk in 1/2 t - 2.5 ml vanilla extact, 2 large beaten eggs, a pinch of salt and a shot of rum (if using) before whisking until smooth.
  • Pour the chocolate mixture into the baked crust and bake for another 15-20 minutes or until the chocolate is set. Make a little tent out of tinfoil to protect your pie crust from burning if that happens before the chocolate is set.

For the topping

  • Cut your marshmallows in half (I found scissors are easiest for this) and squish as many on top of your baked pie, cut side down, as many as you can until the filling is completely covered.
  • If you have a blow torch, light 'm up and burn those fuckers until they're puffed and brown.
  • Otherwise set your oven to grill and place your rack in the second slot from the top.
  • Place your pie in the oven and sit there like a Bake Off contestant, hunched in front of your oven, until the marshmallows start to puff up and brown. You may want to turn your pie round every so often to ensure an even coloring. Be sure to take your pie out of the oven BEFORE the marshmallows start to burn (shocking I know).
  • Feel a slight tinge of sadness when you take the pie out and the marshmallows start to slump. Leave to cool for 2 hours before tucking in.
    You can make this with a proper meringue topping, but that's on you.

Notes

You can keep this pie in the fridge in an airtight container for roughly 3 days once cooled and set. 
Keyword american pie, chocolate, chocolate pie, marshmallows, pie, smores, smores pie

Zoek je dit recept in het Nederlands? Ga dan naar vettesletten.nl voor makkelijke smores pie

Portuguese Mussels with Coriander

Unlike my brother, I was lucky enough to try mussels before we dissected one in high school. So I never developed any qualms about eating them.

Even when I found out that (at least if you don’t clean them properly) you’re going to end up eating their bowels, poo and all. I still love them. My brother never got into them, and is vegan now, so good for him.

Sustainable and fine for vegans

Supposedly, clams like mussels and oysters are sustainable and (according to some) even okay for vegans to eat as they aren’t sentient and don’t have a central nervous system.

Either way, since I had my first mussels (bread crumbed and deep fried, during a bike ride through the country side) and then my second in class after that dissection nonsense, I’ve loved mussels. They’re an easy, albeit pricey, dinner party favorite that can be on the table in under 10 minutes without breaking a sweat.

What do I have with Portuguese mussels?

A few dips, like garlic and whiskey cocktail sauce and a French style tangy mayo never hurt. Garlic bread or French bread and (garlic) butter are necessary on the side, to mop up any liquids and left-over sauce from the plate. You can have the remainder of the wine with it as well of course.

Mussel juice

Once you’re done eating, be sure to strain the left-over liquid to remove any grit, coriander, garlic and shallots and freeze this to use for seafood risotto or soup.

A stack of mussels in a white bowl on a blue background. The mussels have been cooked and are partially open, they have googly eyes stuck on their top shells.

Portuguese Mussels with Coriander

Dorothy Porker
This is a very quick and easy recipe to prepare mussels at home, with coriander, white wine, garlic and shallots.
Prep Time 10 mins
Cook Time 10 mins
Inactive cleaning time 2 hrs
Course Main course
Cuisine Portuguese
Servings 4

Equipment

  • Colander
  • Large pot with a lid
  • Slotted spoon

Ingredients
  

  • 4.5 lbs - 2 kg mussels
  • 1/4 c - 30 gr all purpose or white flour corn flour also works
  • butter
  • 4 cloves garlic crushed and finely chopped
  • 4 medium shallots finely chopped
  • 1/2 c - 125 ml white wine

Instructions
 

Roughly 2 hours before you want to eat

  • Rinse off 4.5 lbs - 2 kg's mussels in a colander under a cold running tap. Scrub off any debris.
  • Fill up your sink with cold water and stir in the 1/4 c - 30 gr flour.
  • Add the mussels and leave them to sit in the cold water and flour mixture for 2 hours or so. The mussels will absorb the flour and filter out any grit that is stuck in their bodies.

When you're ready to eat

  • Get the biggest pot (with a lid!) you can, place it on a medium heat and melt some butter in it.
  • Once the butter has melted glaze off the finely chopped 4 garlic cloves and 4 shallots until they become translucent.
  • Now chuck in the mussels, with 1/2 c - 125 ml white wine and bunch of coriander. Turn up the heat and put on the lid.
  • Your mussels should be cooked in 5 to 10 minutes. Shake the pan vigorously every couple of minutes or so. Using a slotted spoon to move any mussels that haven't opened yet to the bottom of the pan every so often.
  • Once all (or most) of the mussels have opened you are ready to eat. Use the first shell you empty as a little clamp to pick out the other mussels.
    DO NOT eat the mussels that haven't opened, they will make you very very ill.

Notes

Strain the left-over liquid to remove any grit, coriander, garlic and shallots and freeze this to use for risotto or soup. It will keep for up to 6 months in the freezer.
Keyword clams, mussels, portuguese recipe, seafood

Zoek je dit recept in het Nederlands? Ga dan naar vettesletten.nl voor Portugese mosselen met koriander.

Boudin Noir and Brussel Sprout Hash

As mentioned in my Boudin noir taco recipe I needed to ‘rid’ myself (i.e. eat) a whole bunch of Boudin noir and was looking for inspiration. While the tacos were great. You didn’t think I was just gonna eat some tacos and be done with it, did you?

A piggy savings bank with a potato, a Brussel sprout and a Boudin Noir sausage balanced on top, on a purple marble background

A little bit of Closet Cooking and a little bit of me

The other thing I needed to exist, was Boudin noir hash. I found some recipes, but none to my liking. So I made up my own, based on this recipe for sweet potato and Brussel sprout hash (leave out the bacon to make it vegetarian, maybe add feta because cheese) from Closet Cooking and my brain.

When do I eat Boudin Noir hash with Brussel sprouts?

Hash is a typical breakfast or brunch recipe, but I like to have it for dinner as well.

A gold trimmed white plate on top of a cement background, on the plate is a little stack of potato, Brussel sprout and black pudding hash, topped with a fried egg. The yolk of the egg is drizzling down the front of the stack.

Boudin Noir or Black Pudding and Brussel Sprout Hash

Dorothy Porker
A hearty breakfast or brunch recipe made with Boudin noir or black pudding, Brussel sprouts, eggs your way, potatoes and Sriracha.
Prep Time 15 mins
Cook Time 30 mins
Course Breakfast, Brunch, Dinner, Lunch, Main course
Cuisine American
Servings 2

Equipment

  • Heavy skillet or frying pan
  • Box grater, optional
  • Spatula

Ingredients
  

  • 2 large potatoes peeled and diced, some people like 'm grated, if that's you, you do you
  • olive oil or butter
  • 1 large onion cut into thin rings
  • 3.5 oz - 100 gr Brussel sprouts cleaned and halved
  • 3.5 oz - 100 gr Boudin noir or black pudding cut into chunks
  • dash Worcester sauce soy sauce will also do
  • 2 large eggs your way, though I do believe a runny yolk is key
  • swirl Sriracha or other hot sauce for serving

Instructions
 

  • Parboil the 2 peeled and cut potatoes for 5 minutes and then drain.
  • Heat some olive oil or butter in a hot skillet or frying pan before adding 1 onion cut into rings and glazing them until soft.
  • Now add 3.5 oz - 100 gr Brussel cleaned and halved sprouts and parboiled potato and turn up the heat until you get some color on the onions, Brussel sprouts and potato.
  • Turn down the heat a little and add the 3.5 oz - 100 gr of Boudin noir chunks. Season with salt, pepper and a dash of Worcester sauce. Mix everything together well and then pat it down into an even layer using your spatula.
  • Leave to sit for 5 minutes, so the bottom of your hash really begins to crisp up. Turn everything over using your spatula. Pat down again. Leave for another 5 minutes. Turn and leave again until you've reached your desired level of crisp
  • Serve with eggs how you like them and a good helping of Sriracha.
Keyword black pudding, boudin noir, breakfast, brunch, brussel sprouts, eggs, hash, lunch

Zoek je dit recept in het Nederlands? Ga dan naar vettesletten.nl voor ‘hash’ van Boudin noir of bloedworst met spruitjes

Sweet Potato With Miso Glazed Tofu

I love love LOVE baked potatoes. They are glorious, wonderful, fluffy, salty, carby wonders. And if you do them right you will load ‘m with butter and sour cream. I even had a Baked Potato Buddy t-shirt and my friend Faye crocheted me baked potato for my 40th birthday. Because I am an adult who loves baked potatos.

 

Baked sweet potato with miso mince

So when I saw a recipe for baked sweet potatoes with miso glazed mince in Joe Yonan‘s Serve Yourself, a few years ago, I had to make it. It’s a quick and easy recipe, so it quickly became a staple for me, switching out the miso for gochujang when the mood strikes.

A white plate with baked sweet potato and miso glazed tofu mince, surrounded by the raw ingredients and a blue blocked towel

As Joe Yonan has since abandoned meat all-together, and has a cool new book about beans out, and I have semi-followed suit this seemed the perfect candidate for veganization.

I try to eat meat or fish twice a week at most. Though of course sometimes it’s more and then other times it’s a lot less. Some people call this being a flexitarian but I prefer to just call it eating.

What you’ll need

My recipe for home-made vegan minced tofu. Don’t worry, it’s written out in full in the recipe below as well for easy access. Alternatively you can buy ready-made vegan or meat mince.

Other sauces that will work well with this:

A white plate with baked sweet potato and miso glazed tofu mince, surrounded by the raw ingredients and a blue checkered tea towel

Baked Sweet Potato with Miso Glazed Tofu

Dorothy Porker
A veganized single-serving recipe based on a recipe from Joe Yonan's 'Serve Yourself'.
Prep Time 10 mins
Cook Time 20 mins
Tofu pressing time 30 mins
Course Dinner, Lunch, Main course
Cuisine American, Asian, Fusion, Japanese
Servings 1

Equipment

  • Heavy pot or object
  • Kitchen towel
  • Fork
  • Microwave or oven
  • Large skillet or frying pan

Ingredients
  

For the tofu mince, you can also use store bought (vegan) mince

  • 9 oz - 250 gr firm tofu get it from an Asian supermarket and thank me later
  • 1/2 T - 7 gr corn starch other starches also work
  • pinch salt
  • neutral oil for shallow frying

For the sweet potato and filling

  • 1 large sweet potato
  • 1/2 head broccoli cut into small florets
  • 1 T -15 gr miso
  • 3 spring onions optional but they do lift up the entire dish
  • swirl Sriracha or other hot sauce as above, so below

Instructions
 

To make the tofu mince, or use store bought (vegan) mince

  • If you're using store bought mince of choice, pick up the process for this from step 3 under the header 'Back to minced tofu'. If you do make your own, make sure you start this part of the recipe about 45 minutes before you want to eat.
  • Press 9 oz - 250 gr of tofu by placing it between some kitchen towels and placing a heavy object on top for 30 minutes or so. We will come back to the tofu later on in this recipe

Two ways to bake a sweet potato

  • In both cases you need wash your sweet potato and then poke holes in it all over with a fork.
  • In the microwave (fast): Place your stabbed sweet potato on some kitchen towels in your microwave and microwave for 5 minutes at the highest setting, before turning it over and microwaving it for another 5 minutes.
  • In the oven (slow): Preheat your oven at 200° C - 400° F. Bake your potatoes on a rack for 45-60 minutes or until soft. Depending on the size of your potato this can take longer. You can start testing the potato by squeezing it gently (use a potholder, these motherfuckers get hot) to check for doneness starting at the 45 minute mark. What you're looking for is complete give.

For the miso glazed minced tofu

  • Crumble the pressed tofu into a bowl. The pieces should remain of uneven in size and shape, as if you've fried off some actual minced meat in a frying pan.
  • Thinly coat the crumbled tofu with 1/2 T - 7 gr corn flour or any starch at hand and salt generously.
  • Fry the crumbled tofu in a thin layer of neutral oil in a (non-stick) frying pan. Do this in batches to avoid overcrowding the pan and ensure crisp. Keeping frying until the tofu is golden and partially crisp.
  • Now add the broccoli florets. Note: I like my broccoli crunchy, if you like it a little softer cook them for 5 to 10 minutes until they have the right bite for you.
  • Mix the 1 T - 15 gr of miso with a little bit of water, until it has the consistency of a thick Hollandaise.
  • Strain any remaining oil from the tofu mince and broccoli and turn off the heat.
  • Add the miso sauce to the tofu/ broccoli mixture and stir until evenly coated.
  • Cut your sweet potato in half and dab a good helping of the tofu/ broccoli mixture on top.
  • Finish with sprinkles of spring onion and ribbons of Sriracha.
Keyword miso, sweet potato, tofu, vegan, vegan mince

Zoek je dit recept in het Nederlands? Ga dan naar vettesletten.nl voor gepofte zoete aardappel met miso tofu gehakt.

Tacos de Moronga – Boudin Noir Tacos

My manperson’s family has a vacation home in France, where many good sausages can be found. Since my mother-in-law (not by law, but by ease of communication) found out I am into sausages she brings me back a bunch from the local market. My order is always the same: duck, merguez, chorizo and Boudin noir.

As Boudin noir always comes in one big piece and my manperson doesn’t eat them, I needed a plan. Those fuckers are heavy and having them plain is kind of meh, to me.

Tacos de Moronga: Black Pudding Tacos

A quick Google around led me to these amazing black pudding tacos from Mexican Food Memories. I’m sure there are textural differences between Boudin noir, the black pudding sold in Mexico and the UK and ‘bloedworst’ sold here. Still, it’s all blood and fat so it works either way. I say this without ever having tasted a real Mexican black pudding taco.

The recipe may look complex but is surprisingly easy. You will need the tang from the pickled shallots and lime. And you will need to fry your tortillas. Be sure to invite a friend, this shit is festive.

How do you eat Mexican Boudin Noir tacos?

The recipe might look complex at first but it really isn’t that hard. You do really need the acidity from the pickled shallots and the lime to break up the fattiness of the sausage. And you really need to fry your tortilla skins to get some extra texture going in this dish.

Also be sure to invite someone over for dinner, because this really is a rather festive affair. This dish should do you nicely as a main for lunch, brunch or dinner. With maybe a light, tangy salad on the side.

Squeamish eater? Sorry

Unfortunately for more squeamish eaters I don’t have an alternative protein to black pudding to make these tacos work. You could try any of my other taco recipes.

If Boudin noir and black pudding are totally your thing, be sure to check out my recipe for Boudin noir-Brussel sprout hash.

A miniature foodtruck with a Boudin Noir taco on top, in front of a blue backdrop

Tacos de Moronga - Mexican Boudin Noir Tacos

Dorothy Porker
Hearty Boudin noir or black pudding tacos with refreshing shallot pickles and lime juice, perfect for a gathering of non-fussy eaters.
Prep Time 25 mins
Cook Time 15 mins
Course Brunch, Dinner, Lunch, Main course
Cuisine Mexican
Servings 2

Equipment

  • Small saucepan
  • Heatproof bowl or jar
  • Twee large skillets or frying pans

Ingredients
  

For the pickled shallots (optional)

  • 6 medium shallots peeled and thinly sliced
  • 1/4 c - 60 ml apple cider vinegar
  • 2 T - 30 gr sugar
  • pinch salt

For the topping

  • 3 oz - 75 gr Boudin Noir or black pudding cut into chunks
  • 1 medium tomato chopped, I prefer plum tomatoes
  • 1/2 green bell pepper chopped
  • 1/2 medium onion chopped
  • 3 cloves garlic finely chopped

For the taco shells

  • 10 small tortillas corn really is preferred in this case
  • 1 T - 15 gr chili flakes or powder ancho is preferred
  • neutral oil for shallow frying

To finish

  • 1 large red chili deseeded and thinly sliced
  • bunch coriander finely chopped
  • 1 lime cut into wedges

Instructions
 

Make the pickled shallots (optional)

  • You can buy ready-made shallots in a pinch, but in Europe I've found it's hard to find a store-bought pickle that comes close to the freshness of Mexican pickles.
  • Place 1/4 c - 60 ml of vinegar in a heavy based saucepan together with 2 T - 30 gr of sugar and a pinch of salt.
  • Once the vinegar has reached a light simmer, stir to dissolve the sugar, turn off the heat, pour over the 6 sliced shallots (in a heatproof bowl or jar) and leave to cool.

Make the toppig

  • Heat some oil in a frying pan. Simmer down the 1/2 a chopped onion and 3 chopped cloves of garlic until translucent.
  • Once the onion and garlic have cooked through, add 1 chopped tomato and 1/2 a chopped green pepper.
  • Once the tomatoes and pepper have started to soften, add 3 oz - 75 gr of Boudin noir in chunks and stir while this cooks through. This will take 5 to 10 minutes. Take off the heat and season to taste.

To fry the taco shells

  • Heat a decent layer of neutral oil in a second frying pan and add 1 T - 15 gr of chili flakes.
  • Once the oil and chili have begun to heat through, start frying your tortillas one by one. You don't want them to crisp up entirely, just get a nice chew in the middle with some crunch to the edges.

Assemble your Boudin Noir tacos

  • To serve, take 2 small tortillas, placing one on top of the other. Top them with a few spoonfuls of the Boudin Noir mixture, a bit of pickled shallots, a few slices of fresh chili, a sprinkling of coriander and a squeeze of fresh lime juice.

Notes

Any remaining pickles will keep for about a month in a closed container in the fridge.
Keyword black pudding, boudin noir, Mexican food, tacos, tacos de moronga

Zoek je dit recept in het Nederlands? Ga naar vettesletten.nl voor Mexicaanse Boudin noir of bloedworst tacos.