Dorothy Porker

About Dorothy Porker

A portrait of Dorothy Porker in the old Dutch master style with a collar made of pita breads in front of a turquoise curtain

Well hello there, you may be wondering, who is this woman enjoying this food? It’s me! Mieke. And I love food.

Seriously, I [wild gesticulating] LOVE [jazz hands] food [sticks landing].

I love food so much I will enjoy songs more when there is a vague reference to something edible in it. I prefer to buy clothes that have something foodish on it (spills models own). I love food so much I have not one, but 10 food related tattoos. More, depending on how you count.

I love food so much my favorite toy as a kid was a Lego Hamburger Stand. I love food so much I named my cat Noedel. I love food so much I dressed up as the Death Metal Hamburger for Halloween once. I love food so much I basically spend my days living from one meal to the next. I don’t travel anywhere unless there is a serious eating itinerary. Half of my books, and I have way too many, are about food.

The point being, food is and always will be my life.

I’ve always eaten, like [more gesticulating] really, really, eaten, and I probably started ‘cooking’ when I was about 13, and then starting cooking when I was around 24.

Once the internet and social mediaARGH happened, and being kind of a techy communications nerd (okay fine, I worked in social media and online marketing for 15 years), I started taking photos of my food and sharing them. And soon enough, people starting asking for recipes. So I started a blog, and then I killed the blog. Dead.

But then 2 years went by and people were still like, “Aren’t you the girl with the food?” All. The. Fucking. Time. And I was like [dramatic eyeroll], “Okay fine!” And so, Dorothy Porker is back and here to stay.

What can you expect from Dorothy Porker?

I am very much an equal opportunity eater. I like fine-dining, but I can’t afford it and I adore gross fastfood as long as it’s really gross (and probably not that fast). As long as whatever food I am eating is appropriately pretentioned and flavored I love it.

As a home cook, I like stuff that’s on my table in 30 minutes max*, with little effort and tons of flavor. It can be crazy spicy and deep fried, like Korean fried chicken, or vegan with a subtle hint of Sizchuan. It can be subtle, or bold and crazy intense. It just has to make you scream with pleasure.

So good flavorful food. That is sustainable where I can afford to be, depending on my finances and energy levels.

I’m not vegan, but I to try and take into consideration the environment and human rights. So I try to shop local and seasonal from small business owners when I can. I try to eat vegan or vegetarian at least 5 days a week.

*Sometimes I’ll do more, but more usually involves chucking shit in a slow cooker and watching paint dry (or as the case may be: food cook).

But then who the fuck is Dorothy?

Beyond my love for food I am an avid reader and aspiring writer. I took my name, Dorothy Porker, from Dorothy Parker. She was a legendary American poet, writer, critic, and satirist based in New York; best known for her sharp wit and impressive bullshit detector. I love her dearly and highly recommend you read up on her. She left her estate to the NAACP which is pretty cool too.

I live in the Netherlands and am running a Dutch version of this website called Vette Sletten (Fat Sluts).

While I think eating with an eye on the planet and human rights is important, in as much as this is within anyone’s means in a capitalist and neo-liberal system, I loathe all other forms of moral finger pointing surrounding food (‘healthy’, ‘guilty pleasure’, ‘lazy’, ‘ready-made’). The diet industry and the patriarchy have been spreading nasty ideas about women’s bodies for decades, leaving too many of us with bad relationships with food, our bodies and ourselves and I don’t want to contribute to that. Food should be fun and enjoyable, life is complicated enough as is.

A photo of author Dorothy Parker with a quote "This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

It’s okay if you don’t get the literary reference or don’t care for the politics, as long as you stay for the food [unless you’re against equal rights and a douche].

Collaboration with Dorothy Porker

I am open to collaborations, as long as there is a good natural fit and a fair exchange of resources. I am just a hobbyist with very limited means. Paying for literally everything out of my lint filled pockets. So if you’re a big company, I probably won’t collaborate for produce or exposure (jk KitchenAid, come at me) but I could do with money. If you’re small, local and professional we might be able work something out.

Download my fall 2020 media kit here to find out more about me, my audience and my channels should you be that professional.

You’re always welcome to send me stuff to try if you think I might be interested. I can’t guarantee I’ll have something positive to say but I’m not in the business of trash talking small independent businesses online, so if I don’t like it no harm no foul. Contact me via the below email address if you have something to share.

You can contact me at porkerdorothy at google mail dot nom. If you can’t figure out that email address I don’t think we should be in business together. If you can I’m more than happy to talk shop.

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Have a browse around or follow me on Instagram for visual delights, Twitter for food reads or Pinterest to see where I get my inspiration from and finally Tumblr because Tumblr loves me. Or simply enjoy my favorite cartoon from when I was a kid.